Where to Eat: New York City
Three general managers weigh in so that everyone — diners and staff — have the best restaurant experience possible.
Let’s review restaurant etiquette
A few months ago, I noticed something peculiar. In the post-pandemic return to commuting, people seemed to have forgotten that if the train car is packed, you need to take off your backpack to make space. This rule, along with countless others, forms the bedrock of making the subway as pleasant an experience as it can be — even if that particular bar isn’t very high.
I’ve noticed a similar backsliding at restaurants. Patrons who were once simply grateful to be able to dine out again seem to have forgotten their etiquette. (For instance, your busser is not your server, so please don’t ask them to fetch you another martini.) With this in mind, I spoke with three general managers about the rules of dining that they think customers might need a refresher on.
You may already know about some of what you’re about to read, but the goal here is for every one of us — server or diner — to have the best restaurant experience possible. “It is truly a beautiful thing to go out to eat and to be taken care of,” said Jenna Mogilevsky, the general manager at Gertude’s in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. “And for a lot of people that’s the only time they’ll ever get to experience being taken care of because maybe in their life they’re the caregiver. They can go to a restaurant and escape and just sit back, relax and enjoy.”
Instead of saying “I’m sorry” to your server, just say “thank you.”
There’s a reason we use one’s treatment of people in the service industry as a moral standard: It demonstrates a level of basic respect for those who work in what can be a pretty thankless line of work. But don’t let that respect turn to guilt every time your server reaches over to grab an empty plate or you ask for a small modification to your order, Ms. Mogilvesky said. “I feel like it really brings out the weird class divide of me serving you, and you being served, when you apologize and specifically call out the thing that we’re trying to make seem so effortless and beautiful,” she said. “You don’t have to be sorry; just say thank you.”
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