"I don't enjoy living."
In another candid episode of the podcast MeSsy, Christina Applegate got vulnerable about the deep depression she has felt since she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2021.
In a brave bout of emotional rawness, she opened up to her friend and co-host, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, saying, "I'm in a depression right now, which I don't think I've felt that for years." The Vacation actress continued, "Like a real, fuck it all depression where it's kind of scaring me to a little bit because it feels really fatalistic. I'm trapped in like this darkness right now that I haven't felt…I don't even know how long, probably 20-something years."
Earlier this year, Applegate revealed that was in the midst of a relapse and experiencing excruciating pain, with symptoms including tingling, eye twitching, and debilitating pain in her legs. At the time, she shared that her situation was taking a toll on not just her physical health, but her mental health. “This is being really honest…I don’t enjoy living,” she shared during the latest episode. “I don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy things anymore.”
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Their conversation was recorded shortly after Applegate made a surprise appearance at the Emmy Awards in January, which earned her a standing ovation. Despite all the love she felt by the gesture, Applegate said it was “the hardest day” of her life and that she slept for two days afterward.
Sigler, who too has been living with MS, resonated with Applegate's feelings, saying, "It's so hard to live in a disabled body. It is so hard. I will not take that away from you and I am right there with you. But what makes it harder is when you compare it to how it used to be."
The Sopranos star ended on a supportive note, encouraging Applegate that dealing with MS "is not a reason enough for you to stop living."
Sigler continued, "I sit here across from you and you still make me laugh like nobody else can. You still make me smile. You make me feel loved."
If you’re in crisis, call the hotline or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741, call 911, or go to your nearest hospital.